


No One’s Ever Really Gone

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Poe Dameron: After The Fall [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Death of Shara Bey, Grief/Mourning, I mean no one proved this didn’t happen, Other, Past Zorii Bliss/Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron: Free Fall Spoilers, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Ben Solo, Young Ben Solo, Young Poe Dameron, in a weird way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25713619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben and Poe reunite after Kijimi.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Poe Dameron: After The Fall [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864981
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11, The Darkpilot Library





	No One’s Ever Really Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Estrangement
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Spoilers for Poe Dameron: Free Fall!

It was after visiting his father in medbay that Poe ran into Ben — Ben, who was thirteen now, and kriff, how did he get so tall?   
“You came back,” Ben said, and Poe was caught by the sheer wonder in his voice. Even after everything he’d done with the Spice Runners, Ben forgave him. Ben cared about him. Somehow, Poe thought, it helped, after everything that had happened. After having to leave Zorii behind. She’d told him to run for his life. She’d been angry at him for abandoning her, for declining her offer to remake the Spice Runners, but she’d told him to run.   
  
What kind of relationship had they had, anyway? It had been quasi-romantic; Zorii must have felt something for him at some point. But then he’d had to leave her. He was too idealistic, she too cynical, used to doing what she could to survive.   
  
Poe hadn’t realized how rough it had been out there. Even returning from Kijimi, at sixteen, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d been changed. Remade. Unmade.   
  
“I wish I’d gotten out sooner,” Poe said. “Stars, Ben — I wish I’d gotten in contact with you sooner — ”  
  
“Your dad was upset,” Ben said.   
  
“Yeah, I know.” Poe took a deep breath. “I missed you, you know. How’s the Academy?”  
  
Ben faltered. There was something about him that seemed to be wavering, almost like he was wondering how to put it. Then, “It’s not really comparable to what you went through.”  
  
“Are you happy there?” Poe said.   
  
“Tai’s okay,” Ben said. “And Hennix. Voe...thing about Voe is that I worry about her sometimes.”  
  
Poe smiled. Bless Ben; he was even worried about someone who, from the letters Ben sent, didn’t seem to like Ben very much. “You are wonderful, Ben,” he said.   
  
Ben grinned, and there was something about that very smile that was enough to make Poe feel better, at least. There was something about Ben where he felt like he needed to protect this boy at all costs. Poe felt that for everyone to some degree, even Trune, who’d thought of him as guilty by association with the Spice Runners. But for Ben...  
  
Ben was his best friend. Of course he had to protect him. And Ben adored him; it was admittedly flattering, but at the same time, it was terrifying, knowing that something like that could potentially be misused.   
  
Then Ben faltered. “It’s scary,” he said. “I wished I could talk to you about it. Telling you about what I was so worried about. About being good enough.”  
  
“Ben Solo, you are good enough.” Poe sighed. “Stang, you didn’t storm off in a fit of pique just because your dad wouldn’t let you be a pilot. There is that.”  
  
“It wasn’t just that,” Ben argued.   
  
Poe looked at him, really looked at him.   
  
Ben took a deep breath. “To begin with,” he said, “There was how your dad...treated the memory of your mom. Like it hurt him. You told me some of it in the letters you sent.”  
  
Poe nodded.   
  
“We could go back sometime,” Ben said. “Try and make peace with it.”  
  
Poe nodded.   
  
***  
  
It had been how long since Poe had stepped into his childhood home?   
  
Even as he stepped inside, Poe stiffened. He thought of the memories that it evoked — screaming matches between him and his father, when it felt like they were both speaking in riddles. Screaming in them, maybe.   
  
There were other memories too. He and Ben running through the backyard of the Dameron house, Ben being there for him whenever he scraped his chin or anything like that. Ben, beaming after he’d used some of his life force (and kriff, that was scary to think about for a little boy) to heal an injury Poe got. _“Poe got hurted but I made him better!”_  
  
Him, teaching Ben about Yavin foods and traditions. Festival of the Dead costumes. The time Mama dressed up as a Sith Empress just to humor him and Ben —  
  
Poe blinked. He could feel tears brimming in his eyes. Ben squeezed his hand in that moment, quietly reassuring.   
  
“I’m wondering if Dad’s gonna ground me when he gets back from medbay,” Poe joked. “Then again, considering I joined a gang...”  
  
“You were tricked.”  
  
“But I could have just run away.”  
  
Ben looked at him. It was still uncanny how Ben could read his thoughts, his memories. “They wouldn’t have let you leave.”  
  
Poe nodded. “I guess it sounds right.”  
  
Even going to Shara’s room, restricted, Poe couldn’t help but feel like he was invading someone’s privacy.   
  
Technically, he was. Even as he entered, looked through old memorabilia, through old holos — for a moment, he swore that it was like Shara Bey was alive again. Old holos of her — playing with Poe, and at some points, Ben, full face shots. His father had kept those all locked away, and somehow —  
  
“No one’s ever really gone,” Ben said from behind Poe.   
  
Poe turned to look at Ben. “You really think so?”  
  
He remembered Ben, five years old, trying to tell Poe that Shara had gone into the Force. Talking about the Force, how the ghosts were like guardians.   
  
“My uncle likes to say that,” Ben said. “I think it’s the case with your mom too. I think she’d be proud of you for doing the right thing, in the end.”   
  
“There’s some stuff I did right,” Poe said. “Trying to save Trune.”  
  
“It sounds like something you would do."  
  
Poe laughed, a bit strained. “Ben...how can you still believe in me?”  
  
“Because you deserve to be believed in.”  
  
***  
  
They left Shara’s room, left the house. Even sitting under the Force tree, Poe couldn’t help but think of when it seemed so easy then, so very right.   
  
“I’m going back to school,” Poe said. “And then...I’m signing up for the Academy. New Republic navy."  
  
“You want to be forgiven,” Ben said.   
  
Poe winced. “I swear sometimes your mind-reading abilities are uncanny...but yeah.”  
  
“You don’t have to. You can do it to be...who you wanted to be in the first place. Pilot, protector of the weak...all that stuff.”  
  
“We can be protectors of the weak,” Poe said. “Together.”  
  
Ben smiled. “Together,” he said.


End file.
